Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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