I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
