do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize