VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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