I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
