I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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