I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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