happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
