Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
