put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
