guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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