i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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