I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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