I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
