I'm jealous of your bromance
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
