In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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