the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
