It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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