That's when you crack a 10am beer
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
