My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
how drunk are you?
Several
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
