Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
