Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
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I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
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SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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