Can Purell be used as lube?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
tell me about the eggs
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