What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
