awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
