I accidentally had phone sex last night
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
