This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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