If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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