So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
