Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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