Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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