so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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