You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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