Moan for me like Helen Keller
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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