We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
