i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
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We just shotgunned beers for America
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
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I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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