My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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