As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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