we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
