He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
