We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Please don't give away my fajitas
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
