Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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