The maid of honor just puked.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize