So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
