I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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