My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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