Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
