You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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