Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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