His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
