I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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