I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
