i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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