I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
