You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
