Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The air was thick with penises
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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