I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
