Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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