i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
