for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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