people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
