o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
