The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Alive.
So much puke
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
