I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
