Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I have demons in me.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
